We’ve gotten some anonymous questions about why BattleBlock Theater gives so many awesome roles to mummies, and so many sucky ones to skeletons like Prisoner 10401. Or, why are we the best, and only, sponser in the “save a mummy” foundation, but still use skeleton prisoners to fill in for the xylophones in our xylophone band when all of our xylophones are stolen by xylophone gnomes.
Well, anonymous-guy-that’s-totally-not-a-living-skeleton, these are fair questions that deserve a fair answer on why we treat skeletons like you so unfairly.
When people think of mummies, they mostly just think of how scary they are, which is pretty unfair really. Not only are mummies super rich (brain extraction ain’t cheap, yo), but they’re also super prepared, and thats prepared for eternity, not just prepared like you prepare a meatloaf. Skeletons on the other hand are basically just poor, lazy mummies who couldn’t afford any clothes, and a naked hobo-mummy is at least twice as bad as the normal kind. And not only that, but there are at least a thousand skeletons buried all over the world. I mean, there’s like three in the theater’s breezeway alone. You’re probably standing on a skeleton RIGHT NOW.